mr. blackandwhite

Decisions, decisions…
June 2, 2007, 11:00 am
Filed under: Film,Life in General,Music,Wreckage from the Past

So my favorite band, Social Distortion is coming back around on tour but it looks like the closest they will come to my area is Hampton Beach N.H.

That is a friggin HAUL from my house, not that Boston or Providence R.I. are exactly close though… Plus Hampton Beach is always jammed with people. I used to go there a lot back in the day, yo. We used to drink all night and then decide to drive up there. We’d usually get there just as the sun was coming up. We’d spend the day there at the beach and I would get burned to a crisp and spend about 20 bucks worth of quarters in the video game arcade. When roller blades first came out I got a pair. I thought they were extremely cool because unlike four-wheeled roller skates, roller blade wheels are in-line, so it was like skating in ice skates. I would bring them with me and spend hours skating up and down the strip at Hampton Beach. Blades were brand new then and people would be like, what the heck are those things! Ah youth.

One time I went up there with a buddy of mine, two girls and a bottle of Jack Daniels. By the time we got up to the beach the Jack was gone, the girls had had enough of us, and they threw us out of their car and left us standing on the side of the road. Obviously we were not getting laid that night. ‘Ok. Now what do we do?’ Start walking. Somebody will come by. Lo and behold, as we’re walking down the road, who drives by but one of our friends from back home in his sky-high lifted Toyota pickup truck. Saved! It turned out some friends of mine had rented a beach house that weekend so we crashed with them.

The next day I woke up in the morning, semi-hungover, dry-mouthed and starving hungry. I asked my buddy who was renting the house, ‘do you have anything to eat?’

‘All there is is relish and hot-dog rolls.’

So I preceded to make a relish-dog which consisted of a hot-dog roll with pickle relish inside. And a beer. The beer was ok. The relish-dog was not. ‘This is fucking gross!’ I yelled and threw it against the front door where it hit with a loud, ‘SPLAT’.

‘YOU FUCKIN ASS’OLE!!’ my friend shouted at me, ‘What the hell is the matter with you! We’re renting this place!’ I just laughed at him, ‘Ha ha ha! Got anything else?’

I was not a total dick. I cleaned up the mess, though, as I recall, for various other kegger related reasons we were all booted out of that house later that weekend. Don’t look at me! It was not all my fault! And at least I got a ride home. Hmmm…

Wow I did not really mean for this to turn into a reminiscing post but there you go, a brief glimpse into the days of my youth. Those days are gone and now I’m feeling old as I try to decide if I want to drive up there to Hampton to see Social D.

By the way I finally got around to watching ‘Another State of Mind‘ the other night. Very good flick. Even if you are not into Social D, Youth Brigade or Minor Threat, the story itself, which follows the adventures (and mis-adventures) of Youth Brigade and Social Distortion’s first ‘tour’ across the U.S. and Canada in a beat up and eventually, broken down old school bus, is great. It’s a very interesting behind the scenes look at those bands in their early days and seeing a young, tattoo free Mike Ness working on a ‘new’ song, ‘Another State of Mind’, throughout the movie, is cool to see. It’s definitely worth an add to your Netflix queue. And be sure to watch the version with the commentaries too! You won’t be sorry.

I guess all the bands want to hit vacation spots this summer. I was looking at Clutch’s site to see if they are coming around the area and they are going to play a show up in Portland Maine in August. Portland Maine?? No way I am driving up there.

I’m still on the fence about the Social D show in N.H. But I am leaning towards going. Fuck it.

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Wrong name, wrong time…
September 14, 2006, 11:17 pm
Filed under: Wreckage from the Past

Since I don’t really have much interesting to write about today, I thought I’d roll out a short story from the past that you might find entertaining. I’ve been thinking about doing these kind of ‘back in the day’ stories for a while now and since I’ve got nothing else today, here you go.

These are all going to be old stories, recounted as best as I remember them. Memory might have blurred a few details, but the stories are true. I’m pretty sure the statute of limitations has passed on these occurrences, so I’m going to guess that they are safe to tell you about.

This is a true story. It’s a quick one. Hope you like it.

I used to work in software technical support. What a fucked up job that is. You learn a lot about troubleshooting computer problems, but man do you get some screwed up calls. Here’s a jem:

Me: Thanks for calling [company name] technical support, this is Ernie, can I help you?

Caller: (angrily) WHAT??

Me: Ah, hi thanks for calling [company name] technical support. My name is Ernie. Is there something I can help you with?

Caller: (angrier) What the FUCK did you just say to me?

Me: This is [company] technical support can I help you?

Caller: What the FUCK is your name?

Me: My name is Ernie. I’m not really sure what the problem is. Is there something I can help you with?

Caller: Is this some kind of FUCKING joke??

Me: Um, no, it’s not. Are you having some problems with your system?

Caller: Let me talk to your FUCKING boss…

Me: (incredulous) Ok sir…

I put this whack-job on hold and called my boss. I explained to him that there was a customer on the phone who was pissed off and swearing at me.

Sounding tired, my boss asked me, ‘What did you do this time?’


I was known for being a bit too ‘blunt’ with customers at times, but in this case I had no idea what I had done wrong.

The boss let out a sigh and in a beaten down voice said, ‘ok. transfer him over…’

I transfered whack-job and moved on to the next call. When I finished I went over to the boss’ cube and asked what the hell was up with that guy I had sent him.

My boss explained, ‘Apparently his name was Ernie and he thought you were making fun of him or something when you answered the phone and told him your name was Ernie.’

What the fuck. Welcome to technical support.