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I'm going to bitch about work in this post so feel free to move along to your next destination on the web if you want to.

Work has been incredibly frustrating lately. My friend at work told me today he felt like an 'automaton', (thus the title of my post). I know, cryptic. What can I say? I really don't expect anyone to get this post. This is just me finally getting some venting out.

I get totally paranoid when it comes to writing about work, a feeling which I hate. I mean, the whole point of this site is for me to have an outlet for my thoughts but I'm afraid to write about the place that I (unfortunately) spend most of my life. How lame is that?

I really don't like being anonymous on here to be honest. I'd like to be able to post as just me, not this stupid nickname (that I'm totally sick of by the way). I'd like to be able to post pictures of events that happen in my life or even a picture of myself. But I don't because I'm afraid to. I'm afraid somebody from my job might stumble onto this site and discover who I am.

How ridiculous is it that I have to basically be afraid and worry about what I post on my own personal site. What does that say about the place that I work?

Oh and the commute fucking sucks; an hour and a half today...

The funny thing about my job is, if I were an outsider looking in, it would probably look pretty cushy. I mean, its a software company. I basically sit on my ass all day and mess around with computers.

The actual job itself is fine. The work environment and the attitude of the management there is what drives me crazy. I guess I just don't fit in at a big, bureaucratic, politically correct place where you have to worry about what you say to somebody or what you write in an e-mail; a place where honesty and straight talk get you in trouble; a place that is mainly interested in getting something out the door and who cares if it's a piece of shit?

I'd like to find a place where I can be part of a small team that actually takes some pride in what they work on.

But what can I do? I often feel like I am trapped there. I have a wife and kids and a mortgage and bills. All that depends on me and my income. We are a single income family so as much as I may hate my job, I tell myself I need to suck it up and deal with it for my family's sake.

Every day on my way home I say to myself, "I gotta check out Monster tonight and see if there's anything out there." I've sent out a few resumes and gotten a couple bites, but nothing has come through yet. I just have to keep trying. There's got to be something out there that I can do that does not make me miserable and still allows me to support my family.

Alright, well, looking back on what I just wrote, I'm feeling like a whiny little bitch right now.

Now, do I post this or do I wimp out? Am I making a huge deal out of nothing? I have yet to see my company's URL show up in my referrer list... Fuck it.

[POST]

Comments

[Melissa]

hey there, stranger! Sounds a bit like Office Space to me... soon you'll be the guy in the basement mumbling about his stapler! just kidding!
But seriously, keep trying, and you will find the job of your dreams. But you have to really want to make things change. Send that energy out there and things will happen for you.
Good luck!

[Melissa]

hey there, stranger! Sounds a bit like Office Space to me... soon you'll be the guy in the basement mumbling about his stapler! just kidding!
But seriously, keep trying, and you will find the job of your dreams. But you have to really want to make things change. Send that energy out there and things will happen for you.
Good luck!

[firestarter]

hey BW-Don't feel bad about complaining-I know what it's like to have a shitty work environment-fellow employees gossiping about each other, management that doesn't give a shit about employees or what they think, I could go on. Hang in there and keep looking for something else.

[ME]

Thanks guys, you may not know it but your encouragement helps a lot!

You are right, just gotta go with the flow and keep looking! Eventually something will happen (I hope)!