Overheard in the nuthouse...

Recently overheard here:

-ARE YOU CRAZY!!?? YOU JUST SPRAYED YOURSELF IN THE FACE WITH LYSOL!!

-She only likes me for my body Mom (from the mouth of a 4 year old boy, wtf??)

- Mom, do you like my Devilock? (also from a 4 year old, this time the girl...)

So today I'm sitting at the dinner table, and my daughter says to my wife, 'I like sitting between you and Dad, Mom' and my son says, 'I like sitting between you and Dad too.'

So I say, 'I like sitting between you guys. Where is baby going to sit when she gets big? We'll have to move to a bigger room!'

At this point, my wife interjects, 'Well, someday after the basement's done, I want to build a breakfast island in the kitchen and tile the floor...'

[Stunned silence as my mouth hangs open]

'You want to build and island in the kitchen... and tile the floor... You. Mmmm, hm.'

I look over at the son. 'What am I going to do kid?'

He just smiled back at me.