Wednesday, February 08, 2006

recently noticed...

I asked my wife some questions about some recently noticed odd behavior:

- If you park in a handicapped spot, but put your hazard lights on, does that make it o.k.?

A: No.

- A bunch of people in my office have built mountains of empty soda cans on their desks. They are literally surrounded by a pile of cans about 8 cans deep and 6 cans tall. Is there some kind of geek status derived from the amount of empty soda cans you can surround yourself with on your desk?

A: I don't know. Is that like beer cans but with soda? To me that's pretty stupid.

- While driving, if you look in your rear view mirror and notice that there is a mile of cars trailing behind you waiting to pass, yet you refuse to move over, are you doing some kind of public service by making us all drive below the speed-limit?

A: I gotta say No.

Thanks dear!

In other news, I finally got my iPod back from Apple today. It took exactly 6 weeks for them to send me a new, (read: refurbished,) iPod.

I'm just glad it's back. I've already been yelled at to turn that damned music down... I felt like I was back living at my Mom's house.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

I just don't get it...

Today on the way to work, there were not one, but two accidents / fender benders / whatever you want to call them, where the cars were stopped in the hammer lane. No one was hurt, no twisted metal and wreckage, just 2 cars sitting in the far left lane while people exchanged insurance papers and looked at their bumpers to see if there was a scratch. I know these details because instead of speeding by them at 75 MPH as I would normally do if they were in the breakdown lane, I crawled by them at 3 miles per hour since they were blocking the passing lane of a major highway.

I was pissed off and annoyed when I encountered the first one, but then when I encountered a second accident with people standing around exchanging info in the passing lane, I actually suprised myself because I did not think that even someone as fluent in the F-Word as I am I could string that many F-bombs together in one sentence.

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY do people stop in the middle of the highway when they have a fender bender?? WHHHYYYYYYYY!!!??? JEZUS! As if my commute is not long enough, you've got to tack another 1/2 hour to it with your idiot-ness?? WHAT THE FUCK!

Ok. Vent over.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Just a few quick suggestions...

When you're returning something at Home Cheapo, don't give the person at the return desk a  mangled box that is held together with masking tape and looks like it fell of the back of a truck going 80 MPH and then be surprised if that person needs to ask the returns department manager what to do with it. Also, when they ask you if you have your sales receipt, have it.

If you're out for a walk with your children and you're pushing a baby in a carriage, if there is a sidewalk available to walk on, use it, as opposed to walking in the middle of the street. I know, it might sound a little crazy, but give it a try...

I hope you find these suggestions helpful!

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Always be nice no matter what...

I happened to wear my Red Sox pullover jacket with the 'Two Sox' logo to work today


and as I was walking down the hall, a person that I did'nt know stopped and said to me, "Nice L."

"Huh?" I had no idea what this guy was talking about and it must have shown on my face because he then pointed to the Sox logo on my jacket and said, "On your shirt, the Sox look like an 'L'... for Loser."

I thought to myself, "Ok this guy must be some a-hole Yankees fan," but not wanting to pay a visit to the HR Department for a talk about my demeanor, which is not fun by the way, I put on my best fake smile and played along...

"Well they did win the Series! (Fake)Ha ha! (Fake)chuckle!"

"Yeah," he went on with a smile, "I just wanted to be the first person to give you some shit. I'm from Detroit."

Now I'm more confused than ever. While concentrating on maintaining my fake smike, I thought to myself, "This guys a Tigers fan and he's giving me shit after the Sox finally won the Series? Don't The Tigers SUCK? Fuck yeah they do! He's probably a Lions fan too. I wonder if he'll ask me about The Pats next..."

"(Fake) Ha ha! Yeah, well, that's pretty funny," I said. "Talk to you later! (You fuckin' fuck-tard)"

Thankfully he then disengaged and we both headed our seperate ways.

The Sox beat the Yankees in a meaningless game today. 5 Days till it counts.

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